It is not uncommon for men to experience performance anxiety in the bedroom. In fact, performance anxiety affects men of all ages resulting in erectile dysfunction (ED) or premature ejaculation (PE) during or even before the beginning of any sexual activity.
Why does it happen? Why do men struggle with it? The most common answer to both these questions stems from a range of physical and psychological factors. Whether it be negative thoughts regarding your sexual performance, self-esteem or body issues and even nervousness about engaging in sexual activity, which is completely normal. Everyone gets nervous, and that’s ok.
What is the scientific term for it?
How Bad Is It?
When you become anxious, your body gets an adrenaline rush which might cause shortness of breath or increased heart rate. This is the body’s physical reaction, so you respond to the situation in the best way possible. Anxiety can become a concern when it starts affecting your performance.
For instance, anxiety can manifest into sexual performance anxiety, in which you find it more difficult to maintain an erection or even enjoy simple sexual activities with your partner. Some of the most common side effects of this anxiety are erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.
Other Problems Caused By Performance Anxiety
Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are not the only issues performance anxiety can cause. Performance anxiety may also cause low sex drives and psychological issues such as low confidence, stress and depression, which in effect can lower quality of life.
Everyone has sexual fantasies they want to experiment in the bedroom. It’s a great way to spice things up in the bedroom and keep the relationship new and exciting. However, when we focus on making the night as perfect as possible, our mind is not in the moment. This might be stressful as you’ll be worried about how well you are able to perform. This may also affect your relationship with your intimate partner as you’ll be hesitant to initiate something new in the bedroom, which could dull your sex life.
As mentioned above, the cause of performance anxiety can be linked to our psychological thoughts. This can manifest in our physical life and affect how well we perform during sex, ultimately leading to erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. This might also make one feel sexually inadequate, which could take a toll on their mental health.
Symptoms Of Performance Anxiety
If you find yourself feeling anxious or nervous before sexual activity for a long period of time, you may be suffering from performance anxiety. Some of the following symptoms include:
Continuous palpation and restlessness
Fast heartbeats and fatigue
No concentration and focus
Being grumpy and irritable
Muscular contraction and tension
Overwhelmed and no control over emotions
Sleep disorder, such as insomnia or lack of a good night’s sleep
How To Overcome Performance Anxiety
You can overcome performance anxiety by seeking the advice of a psychologist or sexologist for cognitive behavioural disorder or sex therapy.
A psychologist can provide you with professional help and order tests such as an anxiety test to help you further understand your anxiety and assist you with cognitive behaviour therapies.
Whereas, sexologists specialise in sex therapy and can further guide and assist you in your journey to better understanding intimacy and physical difficulties, sexual connection, performance anxiety and more.
They are authorised to provide expert advice and work with Doctors, such as ours at Men’s Health Clinic to help facilitate prescribing medicine to improve sexual performance while at the same time advocating holistic therapies, exercises and diets for performance anxiety through concentrated knowledge and education.
Get Sex Education
Getting formal sex education can help create mental and sexual consciousness. It addresses many unanswered issues in the field of sexual health and helps people solve their sexual problems for both men and women.
Sex education also eliminates stereotypes and stigmas that could have been an issue in past relationships. Instead, being educated about sex alters the way you think about sex so when sexual dysfunction does occur in the bedroom, you are equipped with the knowledge to know when to reach out for help.
Assessments For Anxiety Analysis
Getting anxiety analysis helps men learn how sexual fantasies differ from reality. By means of some simple tests, it helps you understand their basic cause of fears during sex and the link to performance anxiety in the bedroom.
These assessments provide professionals with the information to help you regain trust in yourself and address your concerns.
Eventually, remedies are suggested to patients based on their assessments. The recommended solution can help regain your trust and confidence in yourself, resulting in you being more attentive to your partner’s sexual needs.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps a patient to focus on the symptoms that are the major sources of stress. As discussed above, stress is one of the major sources of performance anxiety that gives rise to ED and PE problems. CBT not only helps you to mitigate performance anxiety, but it also helps you to find a suitable solution to overcome it.
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!
Exercise not only keeps you fit and productive but also helps you boost your game in the bedroom. Exercises like pilates, kegeling, pelvic flooring and cardio can be a game-changer when it comes to your sex life.
However, it is recommended that you see a doctor before starting these exercises. Doctors can assess your current health condition and advise accordingly, keeping in view the problems at hand: ED and PE. Men’s Health Clinic Australia has the best sex experts and trained doctors in the country when it comes to sexual health, so don’t hesitate to reach out!
A good and healthy diet is directly related to the well being of a person’s mental and physical health. This automatically increases the chances of having a healthy sex drive.
The following foods are recommended to keep yourself physically, mentally and sexually sound.
Fruits: Avocados, watermelon, raspberries and strawberries.
Almonds and walnut: walnuts are proven to be the most effective in increasing sex drive and also for improving sperm motility and quality.
Green vegetables and broccoli are great libido boosters.
Oysters as the highest level of mineral Zinc is present in them, which improves sexual desires.
An Easy Way Forward
All it takes is your will. The will to fight the stigma, the stereotypes, and most importantly, your fears surrounding sexual anxiety. If you let it consume you, it will not only have a negative impact on yourself but also on your partner and relationship as well.
Always think positively and look for remedies and therapies that might help you overcome performance anxiety.
If you suspect that you might be suffering from Erectile Dysfunction or Premature Ejaculation, we recommend you to take our quiz on this which is developed by Australia’s leading sexual health experts.
Both mentally and physically, the past year has been a challenging time for Australians. Between last summer’s bushfires and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, many people have had to put their personal health and happiness on the back burner to prioritise with other matters this year.
Fortunately, things have improved across the country, which means that now is an excellent time to re-focus on yourself and make sure that you feel your best going into 2021. Whether you’ve been putting off a dental appointment or ignoring an ongoing problem with your sexual health, now is your chance to sort everything out and end 2020 on a high.
In particular, if you’ve been experiencing problems in the bedroom, make sure you treat them before the new year begins. In this post, we’re giving you some tips and resources for how to get help with sexual performance issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Read on to learn how you can say goodbye to sexual dysfunction before the new year begins.
Keep track of your symptoms
When you’re dealing with a sexual disorder, thinking about it is probably the last thing you want to do. However, in order to get better, you need to have a good understanding of what you’re experiencing and be able to share the details with a medical professional.
As you think about your sex life, consider how impactful your sexual dysfunction has been. Whether it’s premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or both, you should try to answer the following questions for yourself before meeting with a doctor:
How often are you able to get an erection?
How well are you able to maintain your erection?
How often are you able to climax?
How long have you been having difficulties with your sexual performance?
Some men feel hesitant about voicing these concerns to a doctor. But the truth is that sexual disorders are pervasive among men of all ages, so there’s no reason to be ashamed.
If you think that you might have a problem with your sexual health, you can take a quick self-assessment on the Men’s Health Clinic website. Depending on your responses, we might suggest setting up a time to chat with one of our experienced and knowledgable doctors to discuss treatment options for your condition.
Discuss your concerns with your partner
When left untreated, sexual dysfunction can cause frustration for you and your partner in the bedroom. If it goes on for a while, those bedroom problems can turn into deeper issues in your marriage or relationship and cause irreparable damage.
That’s why it’s important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about what you’re experiencing. You might think that you’re doing a good job of hiding your sexual performance problems, but chances are that your partner has noticed and would be supportive of you getting help.
If nothing else, talking about your struggles with your partner should offer a sense of relief to get the burden off your chest. Together, you can think about a plan to improve your issues in the bedroom — starting with professional medical help.
Make a commitment to yourself to get help
As we’ve just mentioned, untreated sexual dysfunction can affect both you and your partner. However, you’re the only one who can seek out treatment for your health concerns. Making a commitment to yourself to get help is a simple way to start feeling better and regaining your sexual confidence.
If you’re unsure about reaching out to your regular GP for help, you have the choice to work with a specialist men’s health clinic instead. At Men’s Health Clinic, we understand that sexual disorders are often difficult for men to accept and ask for help. Our team of knowledgable doctors and medical staff are here to guide you through the process and make sure that you get the help you need.
How to get treatment for premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction
Getting treatment for premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating. In fact, you don’t even need to visit your usual doctor to get help. Instead, you can speak with a specialist at an online ED and PE clinic such as Men’s Health Clinic — without even leaving your home.
When you’re ready to take the first step with Men’s Health Clinic, you’ll first need to answer some simple questions through our online self-assessment. The questions are in line with the ones we outlined above, so you should be able to complete the assessment quickly.
Following that, we will review your answers and determine whether or not further action is needed from you. If we believe that you might have a sexual disorder, we’ll ask you to arrange a confidential consultation with the Men’s Health Clinic medical team. During this time, one of our Australian licenced doctors will ask about your relevant medical history and the particular sexual issues that you’re having.
At this point, your doctor will hand down a diagnosis (if needed) and begin creating your customised treatment plan. At Men’s Health Clinic, we recognise that each man’s situation is different, and the most effective way to treat an individual is by creating a tailored plan that’s designed just for him.
Depending on your particular condition, your doctor might prescribe medication as part of your treatment. In that case, the Men’s Health Clinic team will fill your prescriptions and ship them straight to you in discreet packaging. From there, you’re free to begin treatment and start feeling better in the bedroom. As you complete your program, our team will stay in touch via monthly check-ins to ensure that you see the results that you want.
At Men’s Health Clinic, we have helped more than 5,000 Australian men take back control over their sex lives and conquer sexual dysfunction. Learn how we can achieve similar success for you by calling us today on 1300 707 998 or visiting our website.
Many men who deal with performance issues in the bedroom often feel like they’re alone in their struggle. However, you should know that one in three men suffer from sexual dysfunction — and there are plenty of ways to overcome it.
Specifically, there are a number of useful exercises and treatments that can help you last longer in bed. In this article, we’ll share some of these methods to help you delay your climax and improve your sexual performance. If you have questions, get in contact with the team at Men’s Health Clinic, and we can chat through some of these options with you.
Try exercises and behavioural techniques
If you’d like to increase your stamina without seeking professional help, at-home exercises are an excellent place to start. You can perform them on yourself or with a partner that you trust, and keep track of the results to see if the exercises are working. Let’s take a look at some examples of exercises to last longer in bed.
In order to have lengthier sex sessions, you need to have strong pelvic floor muscles. In men, your pelvic floor muscles play several essential functions, such as supporting your pelvic organs (bladder and bowel), allowing you to hold urine and bowel movements, and supporting erectile dysfunction and ejaculation. By learning how to control those muscles better, you’ll be more able to last longer in bed.
To find your pelvic floor muscles, begin using the bathroom as you usually would, and squeeze your muscles to halt the flow of urine. If that method doesn’t work, try undressing and standing in front of the mirror and then attempt to squeeze your pelvic floor muscles. If you’re doing it correctly, you’ll see the base of your penis and your scrotum lift up.
Once you’ve identified the right muscle group, it’s time to practice your Kegels. Begin by contracting your muscles as if you were stopping the flow of urine again. Hold that for about 10 seconds and then relax (don’t forget to breathe!). If you feel comfortable, repeat this motion 10 times. Do this three times per day.
2. Squeeze technique
In addition to Kegels, there are also exercises to try when you’re already in the heat of the moment. For instance, the squeeze technique is practised during sexual activity (whether by yourself or with a partner) to delay ejaculation.
To try it, begin masturbation or sexual intercourse as you normally would. Then, when you feel yourself nearing the point of climax, cease all sexual activity and begin to apply pressure to the base of your penis. Continue squeezing until the desire to climax subsides and then return to intercourse.
3. Stop-start method
The stop-start method is another frequently recommended exercise to prevent ejaculation. Just like with the squeeze technique, you’ll begin sexual activity (masturbation or intercourse) as usual. Once you are close to orgasm, stop touching yourself or thrusting and wait until you no longer feel the urge to climax. Continue sexual activity and repeat the technique as necessary.
Seek out professional therapy
If premature ejaculation is the reason that you aren’t lasting long enough in bed, it might be caused by a number of psychological issues. Common causes of PE include anxiety, depression, stress, relationship issues, or financial worries.
If this is the case, then therapy or counselling is an effective way to alleviate those psychogenic issues. Not only can therapy help you take control of your sexual dysfunction, but it can also help you improve your mental health. Reach out to a therapist or mental health professional to learn more about starting counselling sessions.
Explore medical treatment options
In addition to physical exercises and mental health counselling, you can also try medical treatments to last longer in bed. Prescription medication, creams, tablets and self-administered injections are some of the most common and effective treatment mechanisms available to men who are struggling with premature ejaculation and other common sexual dysfunctions.
For a more tailored solution, you can get in touch with a medical clinic that specialises in men’s health issues (like Men’s Health Clinic). At these facilities, you can speak with medical professionals that are experts in men’s health conditions, including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction (ED), and testosterone deficiency.
At Men’s Health Clinic, we offer confidential consultations with our Australian licenced doctors, who will evaluate your medical history and sexual dysfunction symptoms. From there, our medical team will create a personalised treatment plan based on your specific needs. If you require any prescriptions, we’ll ship them directly to your door in discreet packaging.
In many cases, men require some combination of exercises, counselling, and medical treatment to effectively deal with premature ejaculation. At Men’s Health Clinic, we can recommend the best course of action to increase your stamina and feel more confident in bed.
As Australia’s top national clinic, we’re here to help you stop suffering in silence and get your sex life back on track. We understand the anxieties related to men’s sexual health, and we take a sensitive and empathetic approach to each patient’s unique situation. To learn more about Men’s Health Clinic team and our treatment options, fill out an online assessment or call us on 1300 707 998 today
As you age, it’s common for your sex life to get a little bit less exciting. Whether it’s due to work stress, financial worries, relationship problems, or just the monotony of routine, many men (and women) experience a decline in their sexual activity or interest in sex.
However, just because it’s a common occurrence doesn’t mean you have to live with it. In fact, there are numerous ways to improve your sex life at any age, so you should never settle for a less-than-satisfying sex life.
In this post, we’ll discuss five ways you can get more fulfilment out of your sex life, including trying new things with your partner, looking after your physical and mental health, and seeking professional medical treatment. Take a look at our suggestions to start making your sex life better today.
Try something new with your partner
Sometimes, your sex life can decline just because you’re bored with the same old routine. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship.
If this is the case for you, trying something new with your partner can be an effective way to break away from the boredom. While it could be something sexual (like a new sexual position or romantic getaway), it could also be something simple, such as trying a new hobby or baking something together from scratch.
Either way, make sure it’s something that neither of you has tried before. That way, the experience will bond you together and create a closeness that could boost things in the bedroom.
Communicate with your partner
At the same time, it’s essential not to overlook deeper relationship issues if they exist. If you feel a disconnect with your partner, you should have an honest conversation not only about sex but also the health of your overall relationship.
Discuss your concerns about your sex life and share what you feel is missing from it. Confirm that you’re on the same page in regards to your expectations in the bedroom. Vocalise what you need from your partner (as well as what you’re willing to work on). It’s also wise to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor if you feel that you need a neutral third party to guide you through these conversations.
Improve your health
Even though sex is just one part of your life, there is some overlap between your sex life and your mental/physical health. For example, some sexual disorders like erectile dysfunction (ED) or premature ejaculation (PE), can be caused by health problems. In turn, these conditions can damage your self-confidence and wreak havoc on your sex life.
Staying on top of your overall health can help improve your sexual performance and satisfaction with your sex life. Your doctor can offer tips on how to be healthier, but in general, eating nutritious foods and getting the sufficient exercise will allow you to feel better in every facet of your life, mentally, physically, and sexually. However, make sure to talk to your GP before making any changes to your diet or workout regimen.
Doctors often recommend performing Kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor and gain more control over your penis during sex or masturbation. To try them, find the muscles that you would use to stop and start the flow of urine. Contract them for 10 seconds and then relax. Do this 10 times per session, three times per day.
Edging is another popular technique to aid with PE. There are a few different ways to try it, but the general idea is to get close to climax and then stop all stimulation to delay orgasm. If you haven’t tried edging before, a good starting point is the squeeze technique. To perform it, begin having sex (or masturbating) as you usually would, and then stop when you feel like you’re about to climax. Squeeze the head of your penis until the urge to orgasm goes away.
Get professional medical treatment
Some men might feel intimidated by the thought of seeking out professional medical help for their sexual health worries. But in reality, it’s one of the most effective ways to treat sexual disorders and get your sex life back on track. And thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever before to get a doctor’s help.
These days, you can book a virtual consultation with an online medical practice (like Men’s Health Clinic) to discuss your concerns about your sex life and learn if medical treatment is right for you. This is particularly crucial if you’re dealing with an ongoing condition like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or testosterone deficiency since those problems typically won’t go away on their own.
If you pursue treatment with Men’s Health Clinic, our team of Australian licenced doctors will develop a personalised and affordable plan that takes into consideration your medical history and current symptoms. Your plan might include prescription medications and other doctor-recommended remedies.
Once you have received your diagnosis, our doctors will send your prescription directly to your door in discreet packaging. The team at Men’s Health Clinic will monitor your progress as you complete treatment, providing 24/7 patient care, so you’re always supported.
Overall, improving your sex life will likely require some combination of the five suggestions we’ve outlined in this article. Some effort will be required on your end (for example, communicating with your partner and living a healthy lifestyle). Still, it’s equally important to seek professional guidance if you need it.
There’s no need to suffer in silence. With Men’s Health Clinic, a better sex life is within reach. To learn more about how MHC can help you, visit our website or call us on 1300 878 117 today.
Erectile dysfunction is generally the inability of a man to get an erection and maintain it till the ‘act’ is complete.
According to Erectile Dysfunction experts, the occasional inability to get it up does not mean that you have erectile dysfunction.
As per a report by the International Consultation Committee for Sexual Medicine on Definitions/Epidemiology/Risk Factors for Sexual Dysfunction, the Erectile Dysfunction experts interviewed conclude; it is normal to fail to achieve an erection once in a while1.
However, if this inability to get and maintain an erection persists for at least 3 months, then you may suffer from erectile dysfunction or ED as it is known in short.
According to their study, erectile dysfunction can be graded as follows:
Grade A: men who can achieve and maintain a normal erection throughout intercourse every single time
Grade B: men who can more often than not achieve and maintain an erection throughout intercourse
Grade C: men who can sometimes achieve and maintain an erection throughout intercourse
Grade D: men who cannot achieve and maintain an erection at all
What are the symptoms of erectile dysfunction?
When it comes to the symptoms, they must occur regularly for a period of more than 3 to 6 months for it to be classified as erectile dysfunction.
The symptoms to look out for include:
Difficulty getting an erection
A hard time maintaining an erection during intercourse
A markedly reduced desire to partake in sexual activity
When these symptoms are persistent, you are likely to have erectile dysfunction. It is, therefore, advisable to get in touch with a physician, more specifically a doctor that’s an ED expert so that they can diagnose the condition.
What are the causes of erectile dysfunction?
With a condition that affects a vital facet of human masculinity, it is important to know where it springs from.
Erectile dysfunction experts claim the causes of erectile dysfunction can be either organic or psychogenic.
Is my ED grade A, B, C, or D?
Unsure what grade your ED is classified as? Complete our FREE quiz to find out!
Hypogonadism – a condition where the testes don’t secrete enough hormones
Penile fracture, when the tissue of your penis breaks
Medication and drugs
Disorders of the thyroid gland
Psychogenic causes of ED
These are the causes of erectile dysfunction that are mental or psychological.
Problems in the relationship with your partner
Mental health problems
Although the causes of ED can be either psychogenic or organic, it doesn’t mean that the two categories are mutually exclusive. Sometimes, the sexually debilitating condition can be brought about by a combination of organic and psychogenic factors4.
For example, age is one of the risk factors of ED. As a man grows older, he is more likely to lead a sedentary lifestyle and develop physical and mental health problems.
All these are indicated as causative factors when it comes to erectile dysfunction.
Lewis, R.W., Fugl‐Meyer, K.S., Corona, G., Hayes, R.D., Laumann, E.O., Moreira Jr, E.D., Rellini, A.H. and Segraves, T., 2010. Definitions/epidemiology/risk factors for sexual dysfunction. The journal of sexual medicine, 7(4pt2), pp.1598-1607. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01778.x
Sadly, if you are currently married, there will be a 50% chance you may divorce.
If the relationship between you and your partner ultimately breaks down, there is a high chance that it’s due to one of the following reasons;
In this piece, we have singled out 4 red communication flags that you should watch out for on that journey so that your once passionate relationship doesn’t turn into a mangled heap of charred metal. These 4 signs of relationship distress are;
Red flags to look out for when heading towards divorce
When you are trapped in the heat of a rocky relationship, you might not be able to realize that things are spiralling out of control very quickly. The red flags that predict divorce may not be obvious in the moment. If you don’t resolve them soon enough, your relationship might end2.
No relationship is free of conflict. Here are 4 warning signs to watch out for that can predict the demise of yours. If you spot the red flags that predict divorce early, you can turn your relationship around.
Divorce red flag 1: Unwarranted or unfair criticism
When you are in a relationship with someone, you are bound to pick up on some of the bad traits of their personality. In a normal and healthy setting, you can chalk these off and accept the person as they are.
In an unhealthy setting, you will criticise your partner.
Conversations or fights begin with phrases like
“you’re the type of person who…”
“why are you so…”
Chances are your partner will not take this lying down. They will also say equally hurtful things, setting off a back and forth between both of you.
You should, therefore, try to talk about the exact behaviour that you don’t like. What you should avoid is a scathing verbal attack on the person.
For example, Jake has an ED problem which makes it hard to perform when he’s tired. When his wife Eve doesn’t reciprocate his advances, he gets very angry and blames her for their lack of intimacy.
Out of frustration Jake often says;
“You’re the reason we don’t make love”
“You are never in the mood”
“I cant believe how selfish you are”
It ends up leading to a big fight with both parties saying things they will ultimately regret.
Instead of Jake blaming Eve for their lack of a sex life, he can explain to her that he would like to show his love towards her more often. Letting her know that the timing is important will help her understand that’s it’s neither their fault they just need to work together as a team.
Is your relationship at risk due to your PE or ED?
Unsure if your relationship could be suffering? Complete our FREE quiz to find out!
Divorce red flag 2: Contempt or disrespect towards your partner
Being contemptible to your partner means that you don’t show them any respect regarding the issue at hand. This is another red flag of divorce that you need to address before it becomes toxic.
When the relationship starts to turn sour, contempt rears its head. Not only can it be in the way you speak, but it also shows up in other forms.
Here is how to know if you or your partner are showing contempt to one another.
Sarcastic and snide remarks
Inappropriate and ill-natured humour
Eye rolling in response to them
If you have been mired in a relationship in a downward curve, these forms of contempt become a daily affair in your communication.
This sets the relationship down a dark path because this kind of communication is hurtful to your partner’s mental wellbeing and sense of self.
Eve tells Jake to stop leaving his things lying around once he’s through the door. He rolls his eyes, and mutters something incomprehensible under his breath.
This is sure to leave Eve feeling underappreciated and undervalued in the relationship.
When you recognize these destructive patterns of communication, you need to find ways of stopping them.
Talk to your partner more respectfully. Don’t hold things in because they erupt with destructive harmfulness that contemptible remarks have.
Divorce red flag 3: Defensiveness
Conflict between partners might make one or both of the individuals involved defensive. This means that they will find ways of deflecting blame or responsibility to their partner.
Whenever the interaction between them involves talking about a problem, one party always perceives it as an attack and is ready to deflect it.
“It’s not my fault that you…”
“I didn’t… you did”
“After all I do around here you have the nerve to…”
“You’re lucky that I…”
“I can’t believe you think that…”
In some instances, one partner can make themselves the victim – derailing the entire point of the conversation.
For such a case, you need to listen carefully to your partner. They, too, know that you aren’t perfect but a sign that you have listened and willing to change goes a long way in fostering a healthy relationship and avoiding divorce.
Divorce red flag 4: Shutting down
There are instances when you feel your partner isn’t being responsive when you’re having a conversation. They either get up and leave or they just respond in clipped, short or monosyllabic answers such as
“I don’t care…”
“Just leave me alone…”
“Do whatever you want…”
“End of conversation…”
“Get out of my face…”
“I’ve had it!”
The silent treatment or shutting down emotions is very common when it comes to the deep sensitive topics like intimacy. It is a huge red flag that predicts divorce.
Silence may seem harmless but once communication has broken down completely it’s hard to get back. Sometimes having a disagreement can be healthy. Extended bouts of the silent treatment is a very serious red flag of divorce.
Many people do this because they would rather avoid the conversation than partake in the brewing conflict. In this bid to remain neutral, your partner might instead appear to be trying to create distance from you3.
This is especially true when the conversation is heated and emotions are running high. When your partner shuts down or stonewalls you, it appears as if they are giving you the silent treatment.
Jakes Erectile Dysfunction has been getting worse. In recent weeks, he has been avoiding Eve in the bedroom. Eve is starting to feel frustrated and like the intimate connection is weakening.
She wonders why he won’t get help.
She wonders if he’s given up on their relationship.
She wonders if he’s cheating on her.
She feels hurt however when the subject comes up she tells him
“Nevermind, It’s ok”.
What Eve is really thinking is
“IT’S NOT OK!”
Jake also stonewalls Eve when she brings up the subject of his bedroom difficulties. He replies back with…
“Just leave me alone. Do you think I want this? I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Or worse, he ignores the problem completely. If not identified early, this kind of behaviour can spell disaster for your relationship.
What you need to do is take a step back whenever the initial signs of this stonewalling show up. After your emotions have calmed down, you can try to tackle the problem again in a more direct and open manner.
Avoiding divorce when the intimacy is gone.
Several studies have documented evidence that conflicts between couples lead to a wide range of bedroom disturbances, including erectile dysfunction4.
One of the erectile dysfunction assessment questions asked is if you are still attracted to your partner and if your relationship is otherwise healthy. An unhealthy relationship outside of the bedroom ultimately affects the relationship inside the bedroom.
These 4 warning signs show you that your relationship is on the rocks. By taking a closer look at how you and your partner interact, you can be able to gauge the health of your relationship. Address these red flags that predict divorce before it becomes too late.
By learning to recognize the limits, you can develop a more effective way of communication even when you’re embroiled in an argument where the emotions are running high.
Recognition of your problems also pushes you to get more specialized intervention so that you can have a healthier relationship with your partner5.
Boddi, V., Fanni, E., Castellini, G., Fisher, A.D., Corona, G. and Maggi, M., 2015. Conflicts within the family and within the couple as contextual factors in the determinism of male sexual dysfunction. The journal of sexual medicine, 12(12), pp.2425-2435. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26608700/